Its been over a month since veteran actor Ravindra Mahajani passed away.
His death came as a shock to many, but it was the circumstances in which he died that were talked about more, particularly the fact that his body was discovered two days after he died in the apartment that he was staying in.
It didnt take long for assumptions and judgements to start doing the rounds on social media, predominantly about how his son, actor Gashmeer Mahajani, wasnt even aware of his fathers death and how the family wasnt staying together.In anexclusive interaction with us, Gashmeer opens up about how a deeply personal thing for a grieving family was sensationalised and the aftermath of the judgements on social media.
Excerpts: Let a star be a starIn an Instagram story a while after his fathers death, Gashmeer had written, Lets let a star be a star.
Me and my fellow people will ensure that by being silent.
The silence, he says, is out of dignity for his late father.
Why dig graves for no reason? asks Gashmeer, adding, The person is no more and the least we can do is let his soul be at peace.
But what about the assumptions about the circumstances around his fathers death? It was hurtful, yes.
People were passing judgements about me and my family, calling me an irresponsible son and questioning how we were clueless to the point that we didnt even know about his death until two days later.
To them, once and for all, Ill say that its easy to pass judgements sitting in some dark room and with access to the internet.
What isnt easy is to understand both sides of the story and have a sensible approach, he says.I was reading everything that was being said about me and my family on social media.
It did affect me for some time, but I also had people who stood by me throughoutGashmeer MahajaniMy father wasnt perfect.
Nobody isThere are two sides to every person.
Everybody craves perfection, but nobody is perfect.
Neither am I, nor was my father, shares Gashmeer as he briefly explains the relationship between him and his father.
While it was said that we had dumped him in a tiny apartment and were ourselves living a life of luxury, I just want to put this out there that he had chosen to stay separately on his own for the last 20 years.
As a family we couldnt do much but accept it, because you can't force someone to do something they dont want to.
It was pretty much a one-sided relationship.
He would visit and stay with us when he would feel like it.
And when he felt he didnt want to be with us and wanted to live freely on his own, he would leave.
When my first film had released, he stayed for a longer period of time.
He was a moody person who liked to be self-sufficient.
He didnt like anyone to do the work that he could, be it cooking his own food, maintaining the house or keeping himself safe also the reason why caretakers sent to his place used to be removed by him within a day or two, says Gashmeer, adding, But since the last 3 years he had started limiting his contact with people, including us, his family, and his closest friends.
He wasnt someone who would strike up a conversation with neighbours or be part of a morning-walk group where he stayed.
This was also a prime reason behind us learning about his death late.
All this may sound like a justification and honestly, at this point, anything I say will be interpreted in multiple ways and I have made peace with that.
Gashmeer also shares that while his father might not have been the most ideal person, he chooses to focus on the good part.
There were multiple reasons that led to strained relations between us, but he was my father and my mothers husband.
There are many deeply personal aspects involved in this, but certain dark secrets of a family are not to be put on public display.
He was one of the most handsome actors in the industry whose smile was infectious.
I choose to focus on that, shares Gashmeer.Gashmeer Mahajani with his family, including father Ravindra MahajaniWhile it was said that we had dumped my father in a tiny apartment and were ourselves living a life of luxury, I just want to put this out there that he had chosen to stay separately on his own for the last 20 yearsGashmeer MahajaniI know what I feel.
I know what weve been through, and I dont want to waste my energy on trying to clarify or justify anything to trolls who derive pleasure from hurting othersGashmeer MahajaniWill never forget the people who stood by me in these tough timesRavindra Mahajani died from a cardiac arrest and his last rites were held in Pune.
With everything that was happening around, Gashmeer says it was the people who stood by the family who made things a little easier.
Many people took to social media to express solidarity and some even responded to all the negativity aimed at us.
But there are four people whose support I will never forget in my life Shrikar Pitre, Akshay Salunkhe, Pravin Tarde and Ramesh Pardeshi.
If it wasnt for them, I dont know how we wouldve started coping with this tragedy, shares Gashmeer.
His fathers death coupled with the trolling on social media took a toll on his mothers health and she had to be hospitalised twice.
I understand the backlash and negativity.
Its kind of everyday sadism where someone gets pleasure out of hurting others.
But my mother was in a delicate state already and this added to her stress.
For me, it is more important to take care of her than be affected by these trolls, he says, adding, If you are a public figure, your family is inadvertently dragged into any controversy associated with you.
Its unfortunate but all you can do is counsel them that these things can happen and ignore it.